Do not attempt this at home

They tell you not to leave your children unattended (“Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy,” reads a sign in my doctor’s office.)

     They warn you not to leave a candle unattended (136 Americans die annually due to this forgetfulness).

     They tell you not to leave a stove burner unattended (burner? What burner?)

     But a mixer? Even just to go to the bathroom?

     I was preparing a New Year’s Eve meal in advance for a group of 10 for tomorrow – a day when I have to work but am still co-hosting a party with Rick – and was working on the last of the menu items, a chocolate mousse.

     Everyone knows how long it takes cream to whip, right? You could walk around the block, close on your mortgage, do a lifetime’s worth of push-ups and still be waiting for those peaks to form. So, a trip to the bathroom seemed so innocent…

     But when I returned, whipped cream was flying everywhere – on the counter, on the walls, on my cell phone, on the bills, on my purse and, soon, on Rick – who was gallantly trying to shroud the mixer with his body, as though to spare other lives.

     The damage was done but the peaks had formed and I proceeded with the recipe – and the cleanup.

     Still, the proof’s in the pudding – or the mousse – right?

     The final product tasted guest-worthy to me.

     And we’ll still get a good laugh when we discover undetected whipped cream spots in remote kitchen sections in the future.

     Anyway, have a good new year.

     I already am.